If I counted correctly, today is exactly half way for me. I've been here for 45 days and still have 45 to go. Haibo! It's going too fast. Somehow I found myself rather busy this week and needing more time to process and think. Here are a few of my jumpled thoughts.
Love:
"Beloved, let us love one another, because lovei s of God; everyone who loves is befotten by God and knows God... Beloved, if God so loved us, we also must love one another. No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us." - 1 John 4:7; 11-12
Every day I love the children more. I am beginning to understand their quirks. I know how to make them happy but also how to make them sad with discipline. I can anticipate where each child is and what they are doing without turning around. I guess this is how moms and dads have eyes in the back of their heads? The more I love them, the more I want to love them better which, in this case, demainds everything from reading one more "last" story to cutting out more silly crafts and decorations to throwing them in the air until my arms are dang sore to rtelling them that I love them every single time they leave the room.
Christian lvoe should not be abstract but should be lived concretely for others. Why do preschoolers already understand that? Why do preschoolers who have been abandoned by their parents understand that? Each time they leave my classroom all 13 of my kids stand in line to kiss both of my cheeks and my forehead and give me a tight squeeze. It doesn't matter it they were in big trouble that day or if they were my special helper-- they all still want their hugs and kisses. I think I'll start taking my cues about love from 5-year-olds.
Entitlement:
I never thought that I'd label an HIV positive orphan as greedy. I still haven't wrestled out this idea in my head so these sentences may not actually fit together; we'll see.
As I look around this place I often wonder why I wasn't the one with down-turned ears from fetal alcohol syndrome. I wonder why I escaped teh atrocity of rape as a child and the unfair start at life with diseased blood cells. Why did my mom read me bedtime stories every night while some of their moms left them to drown in a toilet?
I spent 21 years thinking that I was entitled to my American life. I deserved a mom and dad and older brother who would eat a homecooked meal around teh same dinner table every night. I deserved indoor plumbing, new clothes for every school year and a doctor's appointment for every ear infection. I was talking ato a 9-year-old named Brightness and mentioned something about my parents. She asked, "are your parents still alive?" I said, "yes." "Both of them?" "yes." "wow, you are so lucky" she said.
i've never felt so guilty or so blessed for having living parents. If Brightness only knew the rest of my life. How embarrassing.
Ok, so why am I calling these kids spoiled or greedy? There are days taht I work so hard to make sure that all 53 of them are having a good holiday and then one kid will say, "oh man!! Uncle steven isn't here for sports today?? I'm so bored." I just wanna smack him and say something like "don't you understand what a blessing it is just to live inside these gates. Don't you understand that if Rehoboth wasn't here you'd have died of AIDS three years ago?" (Obviously I never say that...) They ahve been given a second chance at life with a new, loving family, a least a few pairs of donated clothing and medicine to treat their HIV. These things are a luxury to the thousands of children living in the community just outside our gate.
I can't really explain this strange dynamic of being grateful and being spoiled. How do you tell any child that they are blessed? Why do I think that I deserve more to be grateful than these children. Would I be grateful for two pairs of donated pants or would I still want more? (Two of our staff this week almost had a knock-down drag-out fight over donated clothes...) I sure am from a different world. Not sure if that made any sense. I'll think about it this week and try to be more clear next week.
I defintitely remembered I was in Africa on Thursday when I woke up to monkies hooting outside my window before my alarm went off. How annoying. The african day continued when I went to my preschool to teach a lesson on emotions while a jack hammer was cutting up concrete on the same building I was teaching in. (Chaos.) Then I went home for a quick lunch. When I came back out I was digging in my bag for some chapstick (or lip ice as they say here) and I looked up and a long, green snake was practically flying in circles at my feet. Oh my word, I jumped back and started screaming like crazy!! The snake did not just slither away, it truly looked like it was doing some insane gymnastics or like an out of control lasso. Haibo. I ran back on to my deck and looked in the grass until I found him so I could take his picture so I'd have proof. :) I'm sure he was just a bush snake but one 7-year-old told me it was definitely a green mamba. haha
Well, I'm looking forward to my first July 4th in a different country in a couple weeks. I think i'll have a party and bake an apple pie and watch some really american movie. I cannot believe that it's almost July and I'm coming home in August....
Miss you and love you!
-b
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
it's really winter :)
Hello again! Happy Saturday!
Although life moves at a much slower pace, somehow the days are still flying by faster than I can hold on. It’s been another wonderful week full of loud wind, louder children and even louder vuvuzelas. Here is a recap with a few reflections of my journey in Africa so far.
Let’s go back for a second. I finished my last final on May 10, started packing on May 11th around midnight and left the States at noon on May 12. Needless to say, my packing left something to be desired, especially winter clothes. When BRH came last year during May it was perfect weather every day so I assumed that the winters here were warm from beginning to end. Wrong. It’s now the middle of winter, lots of the country is covered in a dusting of snow and I am definitely wishing that I threw in more layers than the one long sleeved shirt I brought with me.
I woke up early Tuesday morning to tornado-like winds throwing branches, nuts and even a pair of ravens on to the tin roof above my head. My room doesn’t have a ceiling—just the tin—so you can imagine just how loud that was! Yikes! The wind continued blustering all day tearing off shingles of some of the houses and even blew over a tree blocking the dirt road to Rehoboth. If I hadn’t grown up in Amarillo, I probably would have thought the world was ending. (Shout out to “Doppler” Dave Oliver at News Channel 10.) As you’d expect, the already spotty electricity was gone all day. When I tried to explain that to my preschoolers, Simlindile asked, “Who stole it?” ha! Anyway, the single-digit temperatures with that nasty wind made for a freezing night because we don’t have central heating (or any heating). I humorously slept with my jeans on under my pajamas and both of my fleece jackets, too. I also kept my hair dryer next to my bed and would use it to heat up every time I woke up cold.
Speaking of hairdryers… after a month without my hairdryer, straightener, curling iron or diffuser, I finally gave in and spent 630 Rand to be able to dry and straighten my out-of-control-curly mop. Some of the moms didn’t recognize me with straight hair and many yelled “haibo!” (in this way that only Zulus can say it) whenever they realized who I was. Haibo loosely translated means “hell no!” haha
Aphiwe continues to encourage me each day. (Aphiwe is the blind little boy that I do therapy with each day.) This week at devotions Busi Precious led the singing as usual but Aphiwe soon took over. Zulu music is basically one person wailing on top of the group with their ad-libs. At the age of four, Aphiwe was able to lead a room full of adults singing “This Little Light of Mine” and another song called “All Over Me.” The kids were all sitting on the floor while Aphiwe stood in the middle dancing, jumping and singing. What a blessing.
Aphiwe has been improving so much in therapy. I’ve been teaching him basic shapes by doing a puzzle of 3D shapes and talking through what he is feeling (or seeing) with his fingers. On Wednesday, I wanted to chart his progress and see if anything was getting through to him so I tested his learning by doing an ITT like I do every day with Adam back in Waco. (Shout out to Kendra and Hannah.) In a very fast series of questions, I gave him three different shapes and then asked for him to give me the square etc. To my amazement, he gave me the correct shape more than two-thirds of the time. In ABA we always reinforce the behaviour that we are working on—it was to no surprise that singing is his “highest reinforcer.”
I’ve had a few people ask for specific prayer requests for Rehoboth...
Because so many of the kids have been sexually abused, many of the older boys (7-13 years old) have been struggling with their sexuality. (can I be any more vague?) Despite giving them good counselling and therapy, they are still struggling. The problem got so bad last year that Rehoboth actually had to buy a separate house for those boys to protect the girls here. Please pray for their healing.
Rehoboth started laying foundation last week for the second children’s village! We are all thankful for God’s provision. Please pray for the finances and the decision-making for this village that will house and care for 50 more children living with HIV/AIDS.
Pray for the strength and the patience of all of the workers and volunteers here that we may learn how to love and serve the children better.
As for me, please begin to pray for my transition back to America. It will be a hard and fast transition for a couple of reasons. I expected that leaving the kids would be miserable and terrible. I did not expect to love the African way of life so much. I am nervous to give up this simple life and return to my fast and stressful life as a student. It’s hard for me to put into words the peace that I feel here and I know that it will be difficult for me to keep this peace whenever I’m back to a world with not enough time, not enough graciousness and not enough
understanding.
Hope you are all having a great week and cannot wait to see you!
Miss you and love you!
"auntie brichen" as the kids call me
Although life moves at a much slower pace, somehow the days are still flying by faster than I can hold on. It’s been another wonderful week full of loud wind, louder children and even louder vuvuzelas. Here is a recap with a few reflections of my journey in Africa so far.
Let’s go back for a second. I finished my last final on May 10, started packing on May 11th around midnight and left the States at noon on May 12. Needless to say, my packing left something to be desired, especially winter clothes. When BRH came last year during May it was perfect weather every day so I assumed that the winters here were warm from beginning to end. Wrong. It’s now the middle of winter, lots of the country is covered in a dusting of snow and I am definitely wishing that I threw in more layers than the one long sleeved shirt I brought with me.
I woke up early Tuesday morning to tornado-like winds throwing branches, nuts and even a pair of ravens on to the tin roof above my head. My room doesn’t have a ceiling—just the tin—so you can imagine just how loud that was! Yikes! The wind continued blustering all day tearing off shingles of some of the houses and even blew over a tree blocking the dirt road to Rehoboth. If I hadn’t grown up in Amarillo, I probably would have thought the world was ending. (Shout out to “Doppler” Dave Oliver at News Channel 10.) As you’d expect, the already spotty electricity was gone all day. When I tried to explain that to my preschoolers, Simlindile asked, “Who stole it?” ha! Anyway, the single-digit temperatures with that nasty wind made for a freezing night because we don’t have central heating (or any heating). I humorously slept with my jeans on under my pajamas and both of my fleece jackets, too. I also kept my hair dryer next to my bed and would use it to heat up every time I woke up cold.
Speaking of hairdryers… after a month without my hairdryer, straightener, curling iron or diffuser, I finally gave in and spent 630 Rand to be able to dry and straighten my out-of-control-curly mop. Some of the moms didn’t recognize me with straight hair and many yelled “haibo!” (in this way that only Zulus can say it) whenever they realized who I was. Haibo loosely translated means “hell no!” haha
Aphiwe continues to encourage me each day. (Aphiwe is the blind little boy that I do therapy with each day.) This week at devotions Busi Precious led the singing as usual but Aphiwe soon took over. Zulu music is basically one person wailing on top of the group with their ad-libs. At the age of four, Aphiwe was able to lead a room full of adults singing “This Little Light of Mine” and another song called “All Over Me.” The kids were all sitting on the floor while Aphiwe stood in the middle dancing, jumping and singing. What a blessing.
Aphiwe has been improving so much in therapy. I’ve been teaching him basic shapes by doing a puzzle of 3D shapes and talking through what he is feeling (or seeing) with his fingers. On Wednesday, I wanted to chart his progress and see if anything was getting through to him so I tested his learning by doing an ITT like I do every day with Adam back in Waco. (Shout out to Kendra and Hannah.) In a very fast series of questions, I gave him three different shapes and then asked for him to give me the square etc. To my amazement, he gave me the correct shape more than two-thirds of the time. In ABA we always reinforce the behaviour that we are working on—it was to no surprise that singing is his “highest reinforcer.”
I’ve had a few people ask for specific prayer requests for Rehoboth...
Because so many of the kids have been sexually abused, many of the older boys (7-13 years old) have been struggling with their sexuality. (can I be any more vague?) Despite giving them good counselling and therapy, they are still struggling. The problem got so bad last year that Rehoboth actually had to buy a separate house for those boys to protect the girls here. Please pray for their healing.
Rehoboth started laying foundation last week for the second children’s village! We are all thankful for God’s provision. Please pray for the finances and the decision-making for this village that will house and care for 50 more children living with HIV/AIDS.
Pray for the strength and the patience of all of the workers and volunteers here that we may learn how to love and serve the children better.
As for me, please begin to pray for my transition back to America. It will be a hard and fast transition for a couple of reasons. I expected that leaving the kids would be miserable and terrible. I did not expect to love the African way of life so much. I am nervous to give up this simple life and return to my fast and stressful life as a student. It’s hard for me to put into words the peace that I feel here and I know that it will be difficult for me to keep this peace whenever I’m back to a world with not enough time, not enough graciousness and not enough
understanding.
Hope you are all having a great week and cannot wait to see you!
Miss you and love you!
"auntie brichen" as the kids call me
Saturday, June 12, 2010
it's ayoba time!
Hi all!!
Well, I've already spent 74 minutes today responding to emails and facebook stuff so I'm not sure how far I'll get on this blog. :( I'll try to pre-write for next weekend.
Today is exactly one month since I left America and exactly two months until I get home. I've enjoyed looking back through my journal and see my change already in one month. I cannot wait to see what is still to come in the next two months.
Yesterday was the first day of the World Cup in South Africa (in case you haven't been watching the news.) Let me just say that they people here are going crazy!!! The news here is focused excusively on it. I've found out really interesting things like when Germany's team arrived and what hotel they were staying at... so interesting. It should be no surprise that America's team arrived like three weeks ago to adjust to the time change. They are staying at the best hotel and had like 20 police cars following them from the airport to their hotel. Oh brother!
We've also had some really hilarious commericals on TV for the past month now about Fifa. My favorite (which may not be funny at all to you) is a fake soccer match between the "big mammas" and the "bar tenders." Hard to explain, but Tamara and I laughed for about 15 minutes when one of the "big mammas" was running down the field to score a goal with the ball on her head just like you see on the side of the road everyday. Hilarious.
South Africa is just busting to show the world that they can host such a big event here and prove that Africa is wonderful. On the other hand, they are trying to hide some of the more unpleasant things on the side of the road. For example, the government had all of the unenclosed toilets removed from a community because they didn't want tourists to see their awful living conditions. Obviously the community revolted with riots. Come on! What would you do if the government stole all of your toilets??
So with all of this hullabaloo, school has been closed for FIVE WEEKS for the entire world cup!?!So now I am in charge of the entire "holiday program" for all 53 kids here at Rehoboth... It has been fun but hectic trying to organize everything and make sure the kids are busy and not making trouble. Naturally, I've taken advantage of the kids' program as well and went to my first Zulu dancing lessons on Thursday... as you can imagine, I'm even worse at Zulu dancing than at Baylor's SING! I am at an unfair advantage because they of the words to the songs are in Zulu. I told Nosipho (a 5th grader) that I needed to have some private lessons so that I could catch up. I also had my hair braided for the first time on Thursday by some of the 5th grader girls who did a pretty incredible job. They finished with all of my hair in less than an hour. Shout out to Vuyo and Brightness!
On Friday I enjoyed a two-hour walk outside of the Rehoboth gates to a dam near by with all of the school kids. I was a bit paranoid trying to keep my eyes on all of the kids at once since one of our Rehoboth dogs was eaten by a python in that lake last year... Once we made it to the dam the kids spontaneously erupted in more Zulu dancing and also sang their national anthem (which uses 5 of the 11 official languages). I felt like my mom holding the kids' jackets and lunch boxes while taking pictures and video-taping their fun. On the way home we all stopped and climbed into the guava trees to pick some fresh guava! I love Africa.
Well, I'm outta time for today... it's time to do some grocery shopping and then watch rugby with some friends. Thank you for your prayers and for your suggestions for Aphiwe. I will try to type out some specific prayer requests for next weekend since many of your have been asking. I got more mail this week which is always a real treat!! Thank-you!
Love and miss you all!!
-brigid
Well, I've already spent 74 minutes today responding to emails and facebook stuff so I'm not sure how far I'll get on this blog. :( I'll try to pre-write for next weekend.
Today is exactly one month since I left America and exactly two months until I get home. I've enjoyed looking back through my journal and see my change already in one month. I cannot wait to see what is still to come in the next two months.
Yesterday was the first day of the World Cup in South Africa (in case you haven't been watching the news.) Let me just say that they people here are going crazy!!! The news here is focused excusively on it. I've found out really interesting things like when Germany's team arrived and what hotel they were staying at... so interesting. It should be no surprise that America's team arrived like three weeks ago to adjust to the time change. They are staying at the best hotel and had like 20 police cars following them from the airport to their hotel. Oh brother!
We've also had some really hilarious commericals on TV for the past month now about Fifa. My favorite (which may not be funny at all to you) is a fake soccer match between the "big mammas" and the "bar tenders." Hard to explain, but Tamara and I laughed for about 15 minutes when one of the "big mammas" was running down the field to score a goal with the ball on her head just like you see on the side of the road everyday. Hilarious.
South Africa is just busting to show the world that they can host such a big event here and prove that Africa is wonderful. On the other hand, they are trying to hide some of the more unpleasant things on the side of the road. For example, the government had all of the unenclosed toilets removed from a community because they didn't want tourists to see their awful living conditions. Obviously the community revolted with riots. Come on! What would you do if the government stole all of your toilets??
So with all of this hullabaloo, school has been closed for FIVE WEEKS for the entire world cup!?!So now I am in charge of the entire "holiday program" for all 53 kids here at Rehoboth... It has been fun but hectic trying to organize everything and make sure the kids are busy and not making trouble. Naturally, I've taken advantage of the kids' program as well and went to my first Zulu dancing lessons on Thursday... as you can imagine, I'm even worse at Zulu dancing than at Baylor's SING! I am at an unfair advantage because they of the words to the songs are in Zulu. I told Nosipho (a 5th grader) that I needed to have some private lessons so that I could catch up. I also had my hair braided for the first time on Thursday by some of the 5th grader girls who did a pretty incredible job. They finished with all of my hair in less than an hour. Shout out to Vuyo and Brightness!
On Friday I enjoyed a two-hour walk outside of the Rehoboth gates to a dam near by with all of the school kids. I was a bit paranoid trying to keep my eyes on all of the kids at once since one of our Rehoboth dogs was eaten by a python in that lake last year... Once we made it to the dam the kids spontaneously erupted in more Zulu dancing and also sang their national anthem (which uses 5 of the 11 official languages). I felt like my mom holding the kids' jackets and lunch boxes while taking pictures and video-taping their fun. On the way home we all stopped and climbed into the guava trees to pick some fresh guava! I love Africa.
Well, I'm outta time for today... it's time to do some grocery shopping and then watch rugby with some friends. Thank you for your prayers and for your suggestions for Aphiwe. I will try to type out some specific prayer requests for next weekend since many of your have been asking. I got more mail this week which is always a real treat!! Thank-you!
Love and miss you all!!
-brigid
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Routine
It's funny how fast routine sets in. I've only been here for a few weeks but I already have to remind myself that there is nothing "normal" about my summer. In fact, it's not even summer here- it's winter. In any case I feel right at home here and am enjoying the same work that I described in last week's blog.
I am thankful for the sense of normalcy that I feel here but struggle with the normacy associated with the pain, hurt, and poverty that accompany and follow every child at the village. Abuse, abandonment and broken families are normal here- expected here. That will never be normal to me.
A couple of stories...
Siphamondla, who just turned 8 last week spent the beginning of his life being raped almost daily by a neighborhood teenage boy. When he told his grandmother she just told him not to play with that boy any more. And that was that. This will bever be normal to me.
Ayanda's mom was 11-years-old when he was born. His father was his mother's 5th grade school teacher. Neither parent wanted their son. This will never be normal to me.
Another litter girl was rapped when she was only THREE MONTHS old because her alcoholic mother left her alone in their hut without a door to close so she could go buy beer. Two men came right in and raped the baby one after the other. This will never be normal to me.
Perhaps the hardest part for me to deal with is thinking about what it means to be a mother. A mother loves her child and is willing to do anything for her child. I cannot understand. (I actually am too mad to really write anything down here.) I've taken comfort in my favorite Selah song called "I will carry you" that describes the loss of their young daughter and how they have delt with it. Sometimes I feel like my time is too short here to really help a child out of this mess. The words of the chorus (although taken out of context) ring true for me.
"I will carry you while your heart beats here. Long beyond the empty cradle through the coming years. I will carry you all your life. I will PRAISE the One whose chosen me to carry you."
I will continue to praise God for giving me this time here to love His children.
Ok, enough of that...
The kids still keep me on my toes each day. The two most common questions are "why is your earring right here?" (in my cartledge) and "are you married?" Here's my conversation with a 6-year-old girl from yesterday:
"Are you married?"
"No, not yet."
"Do you want to be married?"
"Someday, yes."
"Then why aren't you married?"
"I have to find someone that wants to marry me first."
"It's ok. I still like you."
haha- i feel so loved.
Working with Aphiwe (the blind boy) has ironically been "eye-opening." I've tried to come up with activities for his hands that will help him to visualize what we see every day. For example, a few days ago, we made a dog out of play-doh and I found myself explaining that dogs have four legs that go here and a tail that goes here. I'm hopeful that exercises likes this will not only help him understand the world better but that the fine motor skills will prepare him to start learning his letters in Braille.
if any of you are sitting on the internet with nothing to do would you mind researching exercises or games for blind preschoolers? I have very limited internet access and no books about this so I'm just kinda feeling it out as I go but I'd love to have more professional ideas and instructions. :)
I'll close today with another one of my favorite Psalms.
"LORD, my heart is not proud; nor are my eyes haughty. I do not busy myself with great matters, with things too sublime for me. Rather, I have stilled my soul, hushed it like a weaned child on its mother's lap, so is my soul within me. Israel, hope in the LORD, now and forever." - Psalm 131
miss and love you-
brigid
I am thankful for the sense of normalcy that I feel here but struggle with the normacy associated with the pain, hurt, and poverty that accompany and follow every child at the village. Abuse, abandonment and broken families are normal here- expected here. That will never be normal to me.
A couple of stories...
Siphamondla, who just turned 8 last week spent the beginning of his life being raped almost daily by a neighborhood teenage boy. When he told his grandmother she just told him not to play with that boy any more. And that was that. This will bever be normal to me.
Ayanda's mom was 11-years-old when he was born. His father was his mother's 5th grade school teacher. Neither parent wanted their son. This will never be normal to me.
Another litter girl was rapped when she was only THREE MONTHS old because her alcoholic mother left her alone in their hut without a door to close so she could go buy beer. Two men came right in and raped the baby one after the other. This will never be normal to me.
Perhaps the hardest part for me to deal with is thinking about what it means to be a mother. A mother loves her child and is willing to do anything for her child. I cannot understand. (I actually am too mad to really write anything down here.) I've taken comfort in my favorite Selah song called "I will carry you" that describes the loss of their young daughter and how they have delt with it. Sometimes I feel like my time is too short here to really help a child out of this mess. The words of the chorus (although taken out of context) ring true for me.
"I will carry you while your heart beats here. Long beyond the empty cradle through the coming years. I will carry you all your life. I will PRAISE the One whose chosen me to carry you."
I will continue to praise God for giving me this time here to love His children.
Ok, enough of that...
The kids still keep me on my toes each day. The two most common questions are "why is your earring right here?" (in my cartledge) and "are you married?" Here's my conversation with a 6-year-old girl from yesterday:
"Are you married?"
"No, not yet."
"Do you want to be married?"
"Someday, yes."
"Then why aren't you married?"
"I have to find someone that wants to marry me first."
"It's ok. I still like you."
haha- i feel so loved.
Working with Aphiwe (the blind boy) has ironically been "eye-opening." I've tried to come up with activities for his hands that will help him to visualize what we see every day. For example, a few days ago, we made a dog out of play-doh and I found myself explaining that dogs have four legs that go here and a tail that goes here. I'm hopeful that exercises likes this will not only help him understand the world better but that the fine motor skills will prepare him to start learning his letters in Braille.
if any of you are sitting on the internet with nothing to do would you mind researching exercises or games for blind preschoolers? I have very limited internet access and no books about this so I'm just kinda feeling it out as I go but I'd love to have more professional ideas and instructions. :)
I'll close today with another one of my favorite Psalms.
"LORD, my heart is not proud; nor are my eyes haughty. I do not busy myself with great matters, with things too sublime for me. Rather, I have stilled my soul, hushed it like a weaned child on its mother's lap, so is my soul within me. Israel, hope in the LORD, now and forever." - Psalm 131
miss and love you-
brigid
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
